Sex education, the pill, condoms, the morning after pill…isn’t it funny how we spend our first 20+ years of life trying not to fall pregnant.
I remember getting a period and thinking “thank god for that, pop the champagne”.
But then we hit 25+ get married and immediately people ask “when are you having a baby?”
My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years now and have been trying for a baby in this time… the year before our wedding my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer, last year I was told I had thin lining, I started a new and very stressful job, there are a million and 1 reasons why right now may not be the best time for us to have a baby, despite our best efforts.
So When Are You Having A Baby…?
So the question “when are you having a baby” is the one that hurts the most because if it were up to us, it would have been 2 years ago. So now I respond with “when the sperm meets the egg!”
Everyone is going through their own personal journey and for us it’s a fertility journey.
Unfortunately some people who haven’t been down that same journey don’t understand how such small comments can change a mood and I know with all my heart that people mean no harm, it’s just how it feels.
Every day people tell me to stop stressing, or stop trying and it will happen, or tell me about their own experience of falling pregnant, whilst I’m sure all of those suggestions would help, it’s far easier said than done.
So now let’s talk IVF and all other medications.
I have done 3 rounds of chlomid…didn’t work (FYI it was bloody awful and I hated it), I’m currently taking every natural medication to support, I’m taking my temperature every morning, getting acupuncture and moxa therapy once a week and taking care of my body.
All things right some would say….but is it enough? My obstetrician has suggested that IVF is the next step for us.
Now I know this is super common and why not use modern medicine to get what we want….but I just can’t shake the thought of feeling like I have failed.
I can’t do the 1 thing that I should be able to do (bring life into the world). I know those thoughts will soon disappear and I’m becoming more open to the idea but they were my initial thoughts.
I know and trust in my heart that with our love for one another we will bring a beautiful baby into this would and will give them the best life we can, the universe just has different plans for us and has made it a little more challenging, but I am hopeful that we will get there no matter what path we have to take to get it.
In the meantime, Please stop telling me I’m still young and have plenty of time because when I have my heart and mind set on something, I will do whatever I need to get it.
I also know that I’m one of millions of men and women who are going through this so please know that I’m thinking of you all. We are in this together and even though it’s crap, I have hope for us all.
In the meantime, stay tuned for when the sperm actually meets the egg 🙂